


Bad Jokes

by Kit_SummerIsle



Series: Cybertronian Advent Calendar [22]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Advent Calendar, Jokes, M/M, Mpreg, nativity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 03:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1101606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kit_SummerIsle/pseuds/Kit_SummerIsle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Advent Calendar Day 25 - prompt: nativity<br/>Starscream is sick of the joke. The next mech mentioning it might lose more than their good cheer.<br/>G1-ish,  post-war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Jokes

“If you say just one word about that human event at Christmas, I swear that turbofoxes will play with your glossa.”

Optimus frantically shook his helm to Jazz, knowing that Starscream was entirely too serious about the threat. He, too knew just what joke the former saboteur was going to make, it wasn’t hard to guess after listening to the nativity tale from the Witwickys and considering the fact that Starscream was due for emergence any orn, might even just on Christmas day. The Seeker was irritated enough by the carrying itself, as it made him unable to fly and making him even more emotional than usual and their audials didn’t need an enraged and shrieking Carrier, who positively hated to be likened to any human character, even if it… she... was a saint in their eyes. 

“Okay, okay, I was just…”

“You were just making a different joke. Right?” – he had to be stern. For Jazz it was just a joke, for him it was whole evening of calming a shrieking, crying and swearing Seeker and for Starscream it was stressing to the utmost in his condition.

Optimus wondered if any human females giving birth at Christmas-time had to endure such jokes too or it was just the strangeness of a giant, metallic alien being ‘pregnant’ that made them poke at Starscream. After all, there was absolutely nothing angelic or saintly in Starscream – unless one considered the wings - and the conception of the sparkling was definitely not virginal in any way. He blushed slightly at just how not virginal that was. Interface with Starscream was usually like a very pleasurable but fierce war that was waged and fought but they both won. 

“Okay, bossmech.”

Jazz remained wisely silent after the warning, only his visor flashed sheepishly. Optimus hoped that his former TIC was not going to bring up the subject again – in any form. He also hoped that during the last orns before the emergence nothing made Starscream annoyed or angry – moving was very strenuous for him with the sparkling being as big as it was by this time.

“I think it is best if we retire.”

“Yeah, and if you dare to turn on the TV you might as well get a new one.”

Oh yes. Human television was moderately amusing and sometimes educational, but during every holiday or celebration, it became a totally one-track business. It wasn’t just Starscream growing increasingly irritated by the repeating songs and the Christmas themes – Optimus too found it faintly annoying and he had far more patience than his mate. So, a quiet evening then. It wasn’t against his mood anyway.

Settling down Starscream into the comfortable couch he pulled the tray with the treats and cubes close and sat beside the Seeker, embracing him and stroking the other servo gently over the distended plates. Starscream calmed down quickly and purred under the careful petting, both of them feeling when the sparkling kicked slightly. It still felt surreal sometimes for Optimus that very soon he would be holding the tiny life in his hands, their own creation… 

“Soon, Star… it is not long before he emerges.”

“To be honest I’m not looking forward to that either…” – but the grumbling was light and Starscream continued to purr nestled into his embrace.

“Ratchet will do his best to make it as painless as possible.”

“He’d better do so…”

When, the next orn he arrived to the medbay with the panting and swearing Starscreamin his arms, alternately complaining about the pains and his wings being squashed, Optimus expected the medic to be professional and helpful. But instead…

“Well, well, he turns up on Christmas day, after all…” – Starscream was already hissing, but Ratchet continued cheekily, oblivious – “… Optimus, are you sure it wasn’t Primus…?”

Starscream proved that he could still move after all and the rest of the emergence was assisted by First Aid, while the snickering Knock-out tended his fellow medic; reattached the vocalizer’s wires and welded the deep gashes shut.

The sparkling after all the ruckus did emerge on Christmas day; a fact Starscream tried to forget and mechs around him had better not to mention.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last ficlet for the advent calendar and hope my readers enjoyed what I wrote for this challenge; it was the first time I actually wrote a series of ficlets for such a challenge and I really enjoyed it - as I have all the other fics, cartoons and pictures. Merry Christmas for everyone!


End file.
